How do you know if you are ready to have sex?

When you hear of virginity stories many of them sound like horror films. This should not be the case. Before engaging in sexual activities assess whether it is the right time and with the right person.

This is not to say that you must be in love and see a long future with kids and a house with your partner but you should have trust, confidence, comfort, and knowledge before having sex.

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You should have trust in your partner(s).

You should trust that your partner(s) will respect your wishes. Whether that means waiting for you to be ready or stopping at any point.

Trust that they wont push you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. “No” means no, “I don’t know” means no, and “if you want to” means no. Trust that your partner(s) will be patient with you, going slow and allowing you time to adjust to what is going on.

You should have confidence in your partner(s).

You should be confident in their experience and knowledge of what they are doing. You should be confident in their willingness to please you as well as themselves.

Sex shouldn’t be a selfish act. You should also be confident in the role you play in your partner’s life, no matter what that may be.

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You should feel comfortable when you are around your partner(s).

If at any point something doesn’t feel right, STOP and LEAVE. Your intuition is telling you something. You should feel completely comfortable in your partner’s presence. Increased comfortability decreases nerves and timidity.

Some people can’t read signs of apprehension or discomfort. When you are comfortable around them you are more likely to voice that you may not be ready yet or that something( a position) isn’t working for you.

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Everyone involved in the relation/relationship should be educated on sex anatomy, STD’s, and birth control.

All partners should be well versed on both the male and female anatomy. Having knowledge on what exactly you are working with will increase pleasure for all those involved.

You don’t need to know every STD/STI there is but you should know your partners history as well as how to properly protect yourself. Many times barrier protection isn’t enough so it’s always good to be on some sort of birth control, the best one being natural (ie: Lady comp) because there are no side effects.

I don’t emphasize being in love because…

Love can make you do things that you wouldn’t necessarily do. Many people feel obligated to make their partner happy even at their own expense.

If the relationship ends you begin to regret disregarding your comfort for someone else’s pleasure. At least when you have trust, comfort, confidence, and knowledge the possibility of a regretful horror story is slim.

If anything it’ll be a comedy. If you have love along with trust, confidence, comfort, and knowledge then you’re living the good life!

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