Birth Control: My Horrible Experiences

Youtube- Birth Control: My Horrible Experiences

People have many different reasons for taking birth control. Some take it to help with cramping, lighten their period, or remove their period altogether.

My only reason for taking birth control was to prevent pregnancy. Each and every form of birth control that I have tried had the most bizarre side effects on me.

Depo Provera

The first birth control I tried was the shot (Depo Provera ). A few of the side effects are weight gain, light to no period, and nausea. The side effect that I had was an extended period (a never ending menstrual).

One shot works for approximately three months and I took a total of three shots. For nine months I had my period. I would bleed for about 12 days then have TWO days without blood.

So it effectively did what it was suppose to do, prevent pregnancy, because I was bleeding all the time. Why didn’t I stop taking it after the first three months? I truly believed my body just needed time adjusting.

Nuva Ring

The second form of birth control I tried was the NuvaRing. It worked fine but I noticed that every time I wore it the back of my knees would hurt.

When the pain got to the point where I couldn’t walk I decided to check for other side effects it could have (I know, I waited too long). Of course the first thing I saw was “blood clots” and “knee pain”. After seeing that I immediately removed the ring and explored other birth control options.

The Pill

The third form of birth control I tried was the pill. Im not sure of the exact name. I thought I would have a difficult time remembering to take it on time not even realizing that that would be the least of my worries.

The first day that I started the pill I was  sick, throwing up constantly. The next morning I woke up with a metallic taste in my mouth (the birth control contained iron(Fe)).

I tried to put on chapstick and realized that the left side of my mouth was numb. I thought I just slept on my face wrong. As the day progressed I realized that I couldn’t feel the entire left side of my face.

I immediately went to the emergency room to find out that the left side of my face was paralyzed and the doctors had no idea why. They completely dismissed the fact that the only thing that changed within the past month was me starting the pill the day prior.

I had to use a sleep mask to effectively close my eyes when I slept. It took months for me to gain full control of my face but one side of my face still tends to droop( you can see the effect it had in the difference between my eyes).

IUD

The fourth and last form of birth control I tried was the  IUD (Mirena). I figured this was the best option because it lasts for five years and the hormones go directly to where they are needed. Boy was I wrong.

I began clotting constantly, which means my cramps were out of this world. My period would last for weeks, be gone for weeks, then come back at the worst moments like when you’re a cashier at an arena with a line of 50 people waiting impatiently to order before they miss something exciting.

After a year of sporadic periods and terrible clotting, I had the mirena removed.

Now….

I’ve come to the conclusion that mainstream birth control just isn’t for me. I am not currently on any birth control and I’m celibate (so no worries about pregnancy).

I can say that removing birth control and using a menstrual cup have been the best decisions I made. I no longer cramp plus my periods are short and sweet (smooth sailing).

As for when I decide to have sex again, I’ll try the Femme Cycle and Lady comp. This form of birth control is non-hormonal and all natural which means it wont interrupt your body’s equilibrium.

How I discovered my sexuality

Let’s start with me saying that I identify as sexually fluid. Now that is not to say that I’d have sex with just anyone. For me, it means that there’s is no one characteristic that I find attractive in a group of people (ie: gender).

I find that I’m attracted to different people for drastically different reasons. The weirdest trait that I’ve been attracted to someone for was their knees. YES, I said knees.

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How did I discover my sexuality?

At first I didn’t know I could be anything other than gay or straight so I just didn’t identify as anything. There was speculation around my sexuality all through out high school.

I confused so many people but they were always asking the wrong questions. People would ask if I was straight then they’d ask if I was a lesbian and of course both answers are no but that was the end of the sexuality spectrum for them.

Just to make it easy, they concluded that I was seen as a lesbian. It didn’t help that all throughout junior high and high school I shopped in the boys section.

For a while I identified as bisexual but even that didn’t feel like it fit. I knew that it wasn’t gender that determined how attracted to someone I was.

It wasn’t until I came across this gem call Tumblr that I learned of all the dozens of other sexualities there are. This opened my eyes to the wide spectrum of identities that didn’t meet the social norm and the possibility that there are others.

Even with the extensive list of sexualities I still didn’t feel like just one of them fit me. Gender wasn’t something that I considered when I determined whether I was attracted to someone.

It was usually something about them that stood out about them. It could be a physical feature, a personal trait, a laugh, or a knee (lol).

There was no event where I had an “aha” moment that helped me recognize my sexuality. It was more of a process of elimination. So here I am, in all of my sexually fluid glory.

Learning to Love Your Body

As kids we have a certain level of innocence, a purity because we haven’t been heavily tainted by society and the people around us yet. It isn’t until we start to grow up that we are taught to love or hate certain features we possess.

Comments that aren’t seen as a big deal like “Do you eat?” or “Are you sure you should be eating that?” have a much greater effect than people realize. It pushes people to think that something is wrong with their weight or physical appearance which causes them to become extremely body conscious.

Sooner or later you have a self-conscious and insecure teen/adult. Keeping up with a socially acceptable body image is practically impossible. Instead of creating a body that others will accept, strive to love the body you have or create the body you love.

I was often teased for being too skinny. I’ve heard jokes such as “You can dodge raindrops”, “You’re nothing but skin and bones” and “If you turned to the side you’d disappear”.

The jokes may have been funny to the people saying them but I wasn’t laughing. I’ve even had people ask me on multiple occasions if I was sick, suffering from anorexia or bulimia.

These things caused me to shop in the boys section. Rather than wearing straight legged jeans I’d wear boys cargo pants. It took me a while to love the body I have.

These are some of the things I did to help me learn to love my body….

  • Sleep naked (be free)
  • Stand naked in the mirror (get use to seeing yourself naked)
  • Say two positive affirmations a day about your body (focus on the good)
  • Point out the features on your body that you love
  • Don’t compare yourself to others ( be your own body goals)
  • Wear sexy underwear ( it’s a great confidence booster)
  • Treat yourself ( get a mani/pedi, wax/shave, get a haircut or a new style)

Create the body you love

  • Eat a healthy diet that fits you (a good diet makes you feel good)
  • Exercise (workout with intent)
  • Surgical enhancements ( make sure your reason for doing this is not based on someone else’s wants or preferences)
  • Have a goal in mind (when you look at yourself in the mirror what do you envision yourself looking like?)

Learning to Love Your Body

How do you know if you are ready to have sex?

When you hear of virginity stories many of them sound like horror films. This should not be the case. Before engaging in sexual activities assess whether it is the right time and with the right person.

This is not to say that you must be in love and see a long future with kids and a house with your partner but you should have trust, confidence, comfort, and knowledge before having sex.

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You should have trust in your partner(s).

You should trust that your partner(s) will respect your wishes. Whether that means waiting for you to be ready or stopping at any point.

Trust that they wont push you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. “No” means no, “I don’t know” means no, and “if you want to” means no. Trust that your partner(s) will be patient with you, going slow and allowing you time to adjust to what is going on.

You should have confidence in your partner(s).

You should be confident in their experience and knowledge of what they are doing. You should be confident in their willingness to please you as well as themselves.

Sex shouldn’t be a selfish act. You should also be confident in the role you play in your partner’s life, no matter what that may be.

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You should feel comfortable when you are around your partner(s).

If at any point something doesn’t feel right, STOP and LEAVE. Your intuition is telling you something. You should feel completely comfortable in your partner’s presence. Increased comfortability decreases nerves and timidity.

Some people can’t read signs of apprehension or discomfort. When you are comfortable around them you are more likely to voice that you may not be ready yet or that something( a position) isn’t working for you.

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Everyone involved in the relation/relationship should be educated on sex anatomy, STD’s, and birth control.

All partners should be well versed on both the male and female anatomy. Having knowledge on what exactly you are working with will increase pleasure for all those involved.

You don’t need to know every STD/STI there is but you should know your partners history as well as how to properly protect yourself. Many times barrier protection isn’t enough so it’s always good to be on some sort of birth control, the best one being natural (ie: Lady comp) because there are no side effects.

I don’t emphasize being in love because…

Love can make you do things that you wouldn’t necessarily do. Many people feel obligated to make their partner happy even at their own expense.

If the relationship ends you begin to regret disregarding your comfort for someone else’s pleasure. At least when you have trust, comfort, confidence, and knowledge the possibility of a regretful horror story is slim.

If anything it’ll be a comedy. If you have love along with trust, confidence, comfort, and knowledge then you’re living the good life!