The Crazy Sidechick

*This is an anonymous submission*

Here’s the background to it … I asked Darryl to go to Senior Ball with me in October 2015, even though he was still on house arrest. He said he would go.

Fast forward to March he gives me some story about him not being able to get off work. In my head I’m like “ok whatever.” Then two days before senior ball he asks if I sold my plus one ticket and I said “nah.”, so he ended up driving from New Jersey to Virginia for senior ball. 

Around this time he started talking to this new chick named Alexa? She used to go to Hampton and she’s from New Jersey. She lived like a town over from Darryl.

I noticed he had been feeling someone new because of his tweets and he had been texting me less. I confirmed it was shorty by his text messages.

He ended up staying at my crib for some days after senior ball. One of the days being his birthday. So I read the text shorty sent him and it was basically a picture of them.

Then I read her message which was basically the girl telling him, “hope you’re having fun with one of your bitches in Hampton …”, the rest was how she was hurt that he left and didn’t tell her.

She even tweeted how they hung out for two weeks straight but he just up and left for Virginia. Later, on his birthday she was arguing with Kyana on twitter about Kyana f***ing Darryl and being a hoe. All Kyana did was tweet him happy birthday.

He came back for beach weekend but he didn’t stay at my crib. Shorty ends up finding my twitter and favorating tweets that were about him.

So she finds out we were talking or whatever. So right before he leaves Virginia she makes a fake Twitter and mentions me with pictures of him at her crib, on her floor shirtless, smoking and eating her food.

I was PISSED only because she’s making a fake page instead of being the bad b***h she claimed she was. Like I was shaking.

I even called to curse him out saying “Get his hoe!” Before she made the fake page she was talking shit to him on her personal twitter but I kept my cool. 

A week later she sent me a message thread of their texts through the fake page. Like she was so worried about me. 

So on her personal twitter she said she had this big plan and it was coming around graduation. Her big plan ended up being her hacking his twitter page and tweeting that Darryl fucked me and Kyana and some other stuff but I didn’t see the rest.

She did it at like 5am. Then she tried to curse me out and call me off his phone at 6am. Text this long ass message about how I’m an ugly b***h messing with somebody man and ended it saying “You may be graduating but you’re dumb.”

Even if I wanted to answer I couldn’t because my mom was right next to me (it was graduation weekend). After the text she tweeted me from her personal twitter account about these pictures of me in his phone and about how she finally got her facts straight and how HU b***hes share d**k.

So the whole time in my head I’m like “This bitch is crazy.” She bragged about being crazy too, like it was cute. She honestly thought she was in a relationship with Darryl. Of course he didn’t have much to say other than “The bitch is out of her mind” and he apologized to me about it.

Then like a week after graduating just when I thought it was over she tweets me again congratulating me on graduating. Then she comes with questions asking about when me and Darryl last f***ed and was I having pains and aches.

She ends up saying she has something but never said specifically what it was and that I should get checked. Then I asked him about it,  he gets mad and denies knowing about it. Darryl didn’t talk to me for like a week after that.

Once I get home from HU she DM’s me again asking if I knew about some chick he went to breakfast with on snapchat. I told her no and she kept asking questions and advice about what she should do about him and how she had other n***as, this and that.

I just laughed. She then says how she cut up his clothes and is going to send his manager pics to get him fired and key his car. The b***h is nuts. 

Basically she stopped asking s**t after that. So I guess she stopped fucking with him.

As of now I do not speak to Darryl, he is back with his ex and crazy shorty…. idk what happened to her. lol By the way she wasn’t cute.

This is an anonymous submission. Dialect was kept intact for authenticity but curse words were censored. 

Dealing with Anxiety & Depression

Now I haven’t been clinically diagnosed with any mental illnesses, but that’s most likely because I never sought out professional help.

I’d much rather have an internal argument with myself, wait months and become content with my issues. I know this isn’t the best way to deal with my problems but I’ve never been taught that there was any other way.

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I barely gave my internal battles any recognition until they became to heavy for me to push aside. My anxiety went from a snowflake to an avalanche.

Feeling as though my world was coming to an end internally even though, externally, everything seemed perfectly fine. Hyperventilating until I became lightheaded, heart racing so fast that my breathing couldn’t keep up, and the feeling of impending doom.

My depression went from not cleaning as often to not being able to get out of bed. I’d wake up with all of the tasks I need to complete in mind but for some reason getting up felt like the biggest task of them all.

Then at the end of the day I’d feel guilty for wasting a day in bed. People often thought I was a happy person because I was able to put on a smile but I just didn’t want to be a Debbie Downer.

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One day I tried to bring forth the last moment when I was genuinely happy and I couldn’t recall it; this was when I knew something had to change.

At first I didn’t know what was going on with me. Growing up in a black family, visiting a doctor to talk about feelings weren’t exactly an option.

Mental illnesses are so easily dismissed within the black community, but I knew that I couldn’t continue with my normal methods of dealing. My first step to dealing with my anxiety was doing research.

I searched the internet, spoke with various people dealing with similar symptoms, and gathered as much information as I possibly could about all the various mental illnesses there are.  My next step was combatting anxiety and depression.

The most beneficial thing I’ve ever done to combat mental illness was planning for the future. Being able to see the future I wanted gave me the necessary push I needed to make changes.

Rather than turning my alarm off in the morning and rolling over, I would kick the covers off and sit up. Just that action alone had a domino effect on the rest of the day as well as the following days.

Just knowing I had the energy to get out of bed changed my mentality. I now eat healthier, do yoga daily, and complete all of my day-to-day tasks. I’m not completely rid of anxiety and depression but I no longer feel helpless.

If you are dealing with a mental illness on your own, know that you aren’t alone and there are healthy ways to deal with it. Think of the future you want, no matter how impossible it may seem and think of it every morning. The thought alone changes your daily actions.

Dealing with Anxiety & Depression

Being Britt-ish

I know people are probably looking at the title of this post  like, “what do you mean being Brittish?”. My name, Wildly Brittish, isn’t in any way related to Great Britain.

It has everything to do with being unapologetically me, Brittany . I am a college drop out trying to find out exactly who I am in the lifetime I’ve been given.

I created this blog because of the difficulty I have with verbally expressing myself and the difficulty I have with seeking a listening ear, or something to vent to. Hopefully with this blog I’ll reach others who also have this problem.

Even as I write this I’m having difficulty expressing my thoughts although there are so many swarming in my head. With this blog I also hope to spread health awareness, happiness, and liberation (being unapologetically you).